A glimpse of spring.....

Here in GH it's still mostly in the 40's and rainy of course. Even though I looked out my window a few weeks ago to see flowers coming up in my yard, my first glimpse of spring came today. We were driving home from church and it's an amazingly beautiful day....sunny, crisp and 65 degrees! It's one of those days where you just HAVE to be outside. Anyway, when we were almost home, I rolled down the windows and as I did, I looked in my rear-view mirrow to see Bella...I watched her long enough to see her face as the window came down.....she watched the sun filter in and the moment the wind blew in her face, she smiled. Aahhh....spring has come.

LOVE

You know, there are days where I feel like the best wife ever...supportive, loving, touchy-feely. Then there are days where I was just annoyed with life in general....grumpy due to whatever, who knows, just one of those days. It's in those days where I'm sure I was a pretty grumpy towards my husband. Short responses, rude tone of voice, withdrawn. To make matters worse, he was great...loving, patient, supportive....he even took the kids, so I could have a break. What?? Talk about humbling. So, this is when I swallow my pride and ask for not only His forgiveness, but God's....along with the ability to LOVE my husband despite my emotions being what they are.
So, what is LOVE? I didn't like the definition found in the dictionary:
(1): strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties
(2): attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers
(3): affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests

HELP ME LOVE
by Pearl Barrett

Father, forgive these thoughts in my head
That are playing a chorus,
They don’t need to live, but I’ve been watering them,
Helping them flourish.
Been finding his faults, then pouring on salt
Into old wounds I never let heal.
So take all this mess, this bitterness,
Let me trust You, not trust how I feel.

Chorus-
Help me love unselfishly,
Help me learn to give and not expect anything,
Help me serve willingly,
Help me lay aside my pride, my rights, and my needs,
Help me learn to honor him
With a word, with a smile, with a touch,
Help me love.

Father, you see every corner of my heart,
All is uncovered.
Lord, search me please and tear up the weeds
That have grown and smothered
The truth of your Word that helps me to learn
To be the wife you have called me to be,
‘Cause I need so much to show this man that I love,
That I’m grateful for wearing his ring.

I love it.

I have to say now that 7 months into living life with 3 kids, that I love it. I know that sounds strange as if I could give one of them back, claiming I "changed my mind". There are so many times during the day where I just sit and watch them all interact. To see the looks on their faces when they see each other, is priceless and a blessing to my heart.
When Annie first sees Bella, she shrieks in excitement because she knows she'll be laughing in just a few moments! When Ethan first sees Annie, the words, "Hi baby!" in a high pitched voice come out of his little mouth followed by a kiss on the head. When Bella first sees Ethan, her eyes get big and says, "hey bro, wanna go play 'bro's'?". It's fun to be at home with my children, so capture every sound they make, every experience of a game they make up, every look they give each other, whether nice or grumpy!
Some nights I lay in bed and my mind fills with prayers for them...for everything...their innocence protected, their destinies to be fulfilled, their spouses, a love for learning, a teachable spirit, always being a close knit family, being the mom God called me to be, etc. I often pray myself to sleep because there are so many things to pray for!
Other nights, I lay in bed repenting for losing my temper, choosing to check "facebook" instead of answer the call of "mooomm!" (though I do feel I need "mommy time" to check facebook). Sigh....I don't like those nights...I don't like the feeling of letting my children down. Thankfully I serve a God who is bigger than my failures as a mother, wife, woman that I don't need to dwell on those times. I can lay in bed, repent and be refreshed for the next day.....so I can LOVE having children all over again and not miss an experience with them.

Peace.

In my last post I talked about how I was telling the kids who they were, what God calls them. This was a conversation I had with Ethan the other night while discussing this topic.
mom: Ethan, who does God say you are?
Ethan: I am strong!
mom: That's right...you are strong! You are a leader!
Ethan: If I'm a leader then that means I am the boss of Isabelle.
mom: Well not exactly. When you are a leader, you let God show you how to lead His people. You let Him tell you what to do and then you tell them.
Ethan: I already know what God wants.
mom: What's that?
Ethan: Kindness and Peace.
mom: Yes, That's right.
Ethan: Mom? Will you pray God gives me Peace?

Who are you?

Lately it's been on my heart to tell my children the story of how they were named. Mike and I didn't just choose a name we liked, we prayed and the Lord gave us a word for each baby and it always matched with the meaning of one of the names we liked.
When I was pregnant with Isabelle, every time we prayed over her in my womb, the word we got was "Set apart for God". When we looked at the meaning of the names we liked, we saw that Isabelle meant, "Consecrated to/Set apart for God".
When I was pregnant with Ethan and we prayed over him in the womb, the word we would hear was "Strong". Again, we looked at the meanings of names we like and saw that Ethan means "Firm, Steadfast and Strong".
The story is a bit different with Anna. Three years before she was born, I had a dream that I was pregnant with another girl and there were 2 names that I liked: Allison and Anna. In the dream Isabelle told me to name her Anna. So, that name had been in my mind for 3 years before she was conceived. When I was pregnant with her it was 2008, and the Lord spoke a promise to Mike and I for the year. The word was "Grace". We held fast to that in every situation we walked through and took hold of it in my pregnancy as well.....again, when we looked at the meaning of Anna, we were pleasantly surprised to see that it meant "Grace". This time it only confirmed the name we felt we were supposed to give her.
With all of that said, the reason I've been wanting to tell each of them those stories (of course Anna doesn't understand it yet) is because I want them to know what God says about them....What He calls them. I want their identity to be ground in their hearts and minds so that when the world tries to label them, i.e. "too hyper" or "tom boy" or (heaven forbid) "fat", they'll brush it off because they already know who they are.

Can you believe it???

Ok, so today was Pop's urology appointment. Understand that for the last 10 months, he has been having issues with his Prostate....after numerous appointments with doctors, who we trust and know are highly trained, and after numerous tests...there's a final result: Diagnosis: Prostatitis (infection) Remedy: Ibuprophen.
We don't feel this was just a misdiagnosis.....we honestly feel it was a miracle! Every doctor we went to and spoke with said, with a PSA that high, it was likely cancer and not just that, but that it had already spread. Not only was his PSA high, his prostate was lobulated (not symetrical), and his symptoms were fairly sudden onset over the last year. EVERYTHING pointed to Cancer! Again, let me stress that 2 of the medical providers we spoke with, who treated Pop, were Christians who believe in the healing power of Christ! We believe this was nothing short of a miracle. Test after test came back clear.....this is unreal and almost unheard of in the medical circle we run in....so praise God....He is Good. And yes, we BELIEVE it!

God is good...ALL THE TIME.

As we all know, God is good. CT scan results came back today....no metastasis (spreading)! Though, we all still knew everything would be ok, it is still a MAJOR sigh of relief to know Pop's "innards" are cancer free! Thanks to all you who are supporting us and standing with us in faith! We will keep you posted...Bone Scan is Tuesday, Urologist/biopsy on Wednesday.