There go my babies.....

Today was the first day of school. Bella is in the 1st grade and Ethan started pre-k. I wasn't fully prepared for this morning. Don't get me wrong, their clothes were ironed and sitting out, shoes by the side, backpacks at the door, lunches made, paperwork filled out.......I was physically prepared. But, like every mom, I wasn't emotionally prepared. They were resilliant....a little shy and tired, but they put on brave faces and took on the challenge.
Being a teacher myself, I see this transition every day and every new year.....so I know what's best....I put on my brave and excited face, reassure them that this is the funnest thing ever, and tell them I will pick them up this afternoon, give them a kiss, hug, another kiss and an extra hug and say good-bye. As I walk out the door of the classroom, Dr. Jekyll turns to Mr. Hyde as I fight back the urge to run in there and give them one more hug or even just keep them home with me for one more year. I'm also holding back tears as I walk out of the school just to give in to them, the minute my feet hit the parking lot.
Oh, but it gets worse.....I get back home to a quiet, empty house and sit on the couch. Next to me I find Ethan's "nigh-night" and "pandy" (his blanket he's slept with since he was born and his panda bear he's become attached to since his surgery last spring). I then "lose" it. I call Mike and just cry. My kids are still my babies, no matter their age, grade or size. I still long to carry them and cuddle them...I can't resist sneaking into their room at night and just kissing them on the cheek. I still miss them when they're just sleeping. I am so blessed to be a mother of 2 (soon to be 3) amazing children. They fill my heart with so much joy, I can't contain it.

the normalcy of life spoils us.

So, today a friend of mine, Amber, is deeply on my heart. Her father was in a tragic and unfortunate accident last week and has been in a coma in the i.c.u. ever since. Today, they removed him from life support and he has passed. Please pray for her and her family.
I have to speak what is on my mind and just get it out:
I can't imagine what she is going through....it all happened so quickly. How is she coping through this? I know if it were me, I'd have been praying every second, daily for God to heal my dad. I can't imagine how she is dealing with that. Why God does things the way He does. Would I be in a world of doubt right now? Would I allow anger to rise up in me against Him? I naturally think I would be shaken to the core as anyone else, but would hope my faith in God would somehow rise above the bitterness and loss.
The other thing that naturally comes to mind is the importance of things around me.....what's more important? Having my dream house or not being stressed and driven to make money that I am not the mother God made me to be to my children. I think of those moments where, "I lose it" with the kids and immediately feel guilty. Why do I act like this.....it's because I am spoiled with life....the normalcy of everything...the fact that my kids have always been healthy, my husband has always been around, we've always had a roof over our heads, cars to drive, food in our pantry. I wish this is something I would realized on a second by second basis and not just occasionally or when the tragedy of life hits. I wish I would react with this in mind, the next time my kids argue and whine at me or they fight over a toy. How bad can it be? How bad do I have it? Spoiled, I tell you....Spoiled because I am blessed.

Good-bye

Today my dad, Jureen and baby brother Jaret moved to Jakarta, Indonesia. We love them and will miss them terribly. It has been a blessing being so close to them and watching Jaret grow up and become buddies with our kids. As emotional as I am in this pregnancy, it was not easy saying "good-bye". I hate being away from family, thus our decision to move to Gig Harbor as soon as feasibly possible.....

hair coture...not so much.

One of the greatest parts of being a parent is the fact that we get to act COMPLETELY silly with our kids....that is in the privacy of our own home. :) From made up songs and dances, to dressing up as super heroes and saving the zoo animals, or "fake laughing" because I'm being tickled but not the least bit ticklish.......it's heaven to have the privilege of being a part of their lives like this. So, in honor of making our children laugh, here's Mike and proof that we'll do almost anything our kids ask.