Inspiration: where does it come from?

I often find myself inspired on a moment to moment basis. My inspiration comes from so many different places. When I sit and think, I wonder, "What is INSPIRATION?" I know what inspiration feels like, but had a hard time putting it into words to truly understand it. So, I looked it up:

1. 1. Stimulation of the mind or emotions to a high level of feeling or activity.
   2. The condition of being so stimulated

That's it? Just a feeling? Ok.....so I'm often inspired, but what do I do about it? Do I just allow myself to feel good? I found the 2nd definition interesting. It was like it was an incomplete sentence (and no, I didn't type it wrong.). "The condition of being so stimulated" That's it. Nothing else added to it. Just being so stimulated......so stimulated, that what? We act. Everything we do is an action, even if we choose to act by doing nothing. As I write this, I wonder....what actions have I taken due to my inspiration? Well, I will answer that by saying first, what I am inspired by:

1. the word of God. I was reading in Psalms the other day and I read this passage: "As the deer pans for the water brooks, So pants my soul for You, O God." Psalm 42:1.
That passage inspired me....it awoke a literal thirst inside of me....a desperation to know Him, to become closer. The past few days, I've craved the word of God.

2. photography. Life is seen in photographs. Moments we will never get back. We MUST capture them, display them, look at them often, remembering where we came from, how we've grown....it allows us to realize who we've truly become and how we've gotten here.

3. health. I am so incredibly thankful for the health of my children, husband and myself. With Pop having cancer, I've had my eyes opened to how fragile life truly is. How quickly it can change. I am inspired to live an active lifestyle to promote health for my own body, as well as setting an example for my children. By choosing to exercise, not to be skinny, but to honor God with this temple, shows my children the ultimate purpose of exercise. Choosing to eat healthy does the same thing.....I provide my body with the things it needs....good nutrition, exercise, rest....these things don't guarantee we will be free from disease, but it does prove scientifically even, that we have a better chance to dispell it.

4. love. I look at my husband and immediately feel love. I look at my children and immediately feel love. I see love everywhere I turn. A mother blowing goodbye kisses as her child walks into school. A daddy holding a child's hand. A husband and wife embracing. A grandparent laughing with a grandchild. It's all around us and every time I see it, I am thankful I am experiencing it daily in my life. Love inspires me to put a note in my children's lunch boxes, rub my husband's shoulders, clean my mom's kitchen. I don't do these things because I have to, I do it because I LOVE them and want to show them how I feel.

You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.
- Shira Tehrani

First Day of School....

It's a little late, but here's their first day of school for 2010-2011! I can't believe how time flies....they're growing up so quickly. Today I was going through their clothing bins (looking for 2T clothes for Annie) and I was (literally) stuck in the closet and reminscing over all their outfits they've outgrown. Ethan's first Halloween costume...a lion. Bella's favorite pajamas....gingerbread man long john's. Ethan's first football jersey....OU! Bella's first soccer team....Tulsa Tigers.
I thought to myself, I can't afford to miss any moments. I took advantage of that thought tonight while running on the treadmill....Bella came down and sat on the couch. I was watching a movie while running.....I turned it off and just started talking to her. I asked about school, friends, what she's learning, if she thinks her little brother is doing good in school. (which she said yes. :)) It was then I got a little sad and realized I'm so NOT a part of every part of her life like I used to be when she was younger. I don't know what goes on 6.5 hours of her day. As mothers (or fathers) we have such a small window of time when we're their ENTIRE world....when we have every hour of their day to influence, encourage, and teach them. I'm thankful I've had to ability to set a foundation for her (and Ethan and Annie). Of course we continue to take advantage of foundation building: Our mornings eating breakfast, our evenings doing homework, bedtime devotions, good night kisses and hugs....sleepy time cuddles. The foundation we are working so hard to build:
#1 God loves you, unconditionally.
#2 Family is everything.
#3 Forgiveness is essential.

yummy japanese.

Every once in a while we need a good "adult" night out. This time, we enjoyed Japanese and then some good ol' American football and beer at the Tides. Here's to good friends and family. Cheers!

He's in the Navy now.

Yes, I know he left 5 months ago. But I'm just now getting around to sharing how proud of him I am. :)

She's growing up.....

This last weekend, our oldest child, Bella, went on her first "get away" with her BFF. (too cute!) Her friend, Lily, got to bring a buddy along to Great Wolf Lodge for a birthday celebration.
She was soooo excited to go (GWL is one of our favorite places!), and of course I was happy about this opportunity for her.....BUT (and BIG BUT), I was nervous! She's only stayed the night next door at the neighbor's house or with mamai and papi. She's never been out of town without us! I kept thinking about how my little baby is leaving without me. It wasn't about me not trusting her or Lily's parents, it was just my baby being out of my control.
A week in advance, I started "prepping" her. I wrote my cell # and Mike's cell # on her hands in permanent marker so she could memorize them; she also had to memorize our address, lily's parents first and last names, what to do if she was lost in the water park, lost in the hotel, to wear a life jacket in the wave pool (though she's a strong swimmer), and what to do if a stranger approaches you.....most of this was redundant, but I HAD to know she would do all she could to be safe. Ultimately, she did GREAT....and listened to everything I asked her to do. And I did good, too....I only called twice! :)

A funny side note, I sent her with $30....to pay for some arcade games, a few treats and her magic wand game ($10). (I knew she'd spend it all) When she came home she showed me all she bought: A small stuffed doggy, a LARGE lollipop, and a ball for Ethan. What?? All of that for $30? I asked her how much it all cost.....her stuffed puppy was $19!!! and Her lollipop was $4!!! Leaving her $7 for the arcade.....pretty good right? I just laughed and figured, "well, she got what she wanted....and even brought her brother a gift!"

Drawing Closer.

Let's see...it's been OVER a year since I've blogged. It all pretty much stopped on July 6, 2009....the day Pop was diagnosed with the "Big C". Not just the basic cancer....stage 4, TERMINAL. It's been a long road. Our family has been through the gambit of emotional, physical, physcological and even relational changes in the last 15 months.
Most of you have been kept abreast of Pop's situation....my mom is good at keeping everyone informed. There's not much else to say about it. The dr.'s say he's going to die....there's nothing they can do. We are STILL standing on the Lord, looking to him for peace, comfort, encouragement. It's a moment by moment process....one moment I'm hopeful and the next moment I am wavering with death staring me in the face. With that said, I, at times, keep my self distant to the cancer....I don't really read all of my mom's updates (mostly because I see it for myself every day), I've come accustomed to the routine of mom and pop not leaving the house, like it's just the way they live and not because he's too sick to get out of bed.
In a need to just survive, I've also withdrawn from a deepness with my Heavenly Father. I'm not too sure why....Fear? Possibly..... Anger? Possibly that, too..... Keeping everything on the surface, refusing to see the reality of what's happening before me. Though I've stepped away, He (God) has continued to speak to me, gently calling me closer.
"Tell daughter Zion, 'Look! Your Savior comes, ready to do what He said He'd do, prepared to complete what He promised.' Zion will be called new names: Holy people, God-redeemed, SOUGHT OUT, City- NOT FORSAKEN." Isaiah 62:11-12
We can run. We can hide. We can step back. But with every step we take, God's sweetness is there to draw us near. I may not have all my strength, but He doesn't require that. All I need to do is lay in His arms and be comforted.

Do you know what "stop" means?

Bella and Ethan have one night a week they spend at my mom's house. This last week Ethan and Mamai had a conversation that went something like this:
Mamai: Ethan please stop.
(ethan continues to do whatever he's doing)
Mamai: Ethan, I asked you to stop.
(he still continues)
Mamai: Ethan, do you know what "stop" means?
Ethan: no.
Mamai: Stop means "stop what you are doing."
Ethan: So they mean the same thing?!